Time Flies... And Then You are Grown

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Howdy all! The last week and a half has been a busy one, with trips to Seattle and Chicago for work. The highlight of the week was probably a random decision to go for a 6-mile run so that I could see the Japanese Tea Garden, only to get there and find out it was closed. It's the hardest run I've ever gone on, and possibly the longest too. Hardly any of it was flat! My left foot has been hurting for a few days now, so I'm cautiously hoping that goes away sometime soon.

During all the traveling, I lose track of things I want to write about in the blog. (I really should start keeping a little list somewhere.) However, I wanted to share an amusing article from Men's Health. (Quickly becoming one of my favorite magazines... stuff on exercise, health, food and other manly things.)

Apparently, there are 18 things a grown man should never have. If you'd like to see how I stacked up, keep on reading...

1.) A black eye. Never had one of those. I've never really even been in a fistfight. Even the skirmishes I had in elementary school were ridiculously on the defensive.

2.) A witty email signature. No quotes or song lyrics in my email. I do have my contact info beneath my work emails, but I think that falls short of witty.

3.) An empty refrigerator. Guilty as charged... perhaps when my commute is shorter in months to come I will have more time and patience for cooking. In the meantime, vive taquitos!

4.) PlayStation thumb. The last game system I had was a Nintendo 64, which I gave away a long time ago. So I've been gamer thumb free for quite some time now.

5.) A key chain with a bottle opener. Guilty... made even guiltier by the fact that it's got my college logo on it. I think this will be one of the last things to go.

6.) A lucky shirt. While I do have a few favorite shirts (i.e. my Waterbury Swimming and Yavapai T-shirts) I consider none of them lucky.

7.) An unstamped passport. Whew! Just got that one in a few months ago with a trip to Ireland. I hope to add onto that at some point.

8.) Olympic dreams. Luckily for me, golf isn't an Olympic sport. So I can dream all I want. I think there may be a stint as a golf instructor at some point in my life.

9.) Less than $20 in his wallet. I do usually carry something on me, but not always. And I'm still not carrying business cards often enough.

10.) A name for his penis. This one made me laugh. Not because I have a name for mine, but just because it's always funny. Seriously, you know you laugh at those jokes in movies.

11.) Any beer that costs less than $20 a case. There are beers that cost more than $20 a case?

12.) The need to quote The Big Lebowski/Caddyshack/Superbad. Uh oh. This one nailed me. At least in the first two cases. I have yet to quote Superbad. "Thank you very little."

13.) A futon. Guilty, but only for a few more months. After I move, it's time to bring on the queen-sized bed. Hello, comfort. Goodbye sagging into the middle. Futon, 'tis the time to embrace your role as a couch.

14.) Code words for ugly women. Along the same lines as me never being in a fistfight, I'm clear on this one. I can only hope that women out there don't have code words for ugly men.

15.) A Nerf hoop in his living room. I have golf clubs in my bedroom, but golf is a grown man's game, so I'm safe. Although I'm always tempted to buy Nerf guns when I see them.

16.) A secret handshake. None here. I have a standard 3-step handshake that I learned growing up in Waterbury, but everybody does it there. So it's not a secret.

17.) Drinking glasses with logos. I don't have any... yet. I don't know if I'd be able to resist a good sports team logo on my glass of cold beer.

18.) A recent story with the phrase "So I said to the cop..." I'd tell you something about this one, but my lawyer made it pretty clear I'm not to say anything outside a court of law.