Why I'm Leaving Facebook... Well, Sort Of

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Hello peeps,

First off, let me start by saying that it's been a while and I hope you are doing well. Things in Seattle have been good. I'm getting out there and learning this city bit by bit, and it's starting to feel like home to me. I'd be lying if I told you I haven't missed NYC more than I thought I would, but then again, the grass is always greener...... and on that note - if you are in NYC and reading this and would like to meet up over July 4th weekend, I will be around. :)

Now, on to the show: I'm leaving Facebook.

It really started a while back - at least a year ago. I started to become disenchanted with the whole concept of being "friends" with people via some website and nothing more... few or zero phone calls, visits or cups of coffee... It's hard to describe exactly, but words like detached and artificial come to mind. And maybe that's as much a character analysis of who I've been recently as it is of Facebook... but either way I started to think the whole charade was a bit silly.

I started trimming down the "friends" list. First I stopped accepting invitations to connect with people I'd never actually spoken with, even if we went to the same school once upon a time... then went the people I'd met on random encounters but never contacted again... then went people from years ago I'd lost touch with only to "re-connect" with on FB and then never actually speak with again. I got it down to a point where I was connected to close peeps I already speak with on a regular basis and then a number of folks I simply might want to be able to contact someday.

Well, now FB is doing all this stuff I can't figure out how to undo... I am getting updates from anything and everything in my profile that has a FB page, and I have to take extra steps just to check in on the people I really care about. This is pretty much on par with picking up the phone or writing an email at this point... so why not just pick up the phone or write an email?

In a nutshell, I'm done using FB as a means of communication as of June 30. I figure this leaves enough time for peeps to get used to contacting me via other means of communication before I stop checking the page. I don't know when I will actually deactivate the account, because I do think there is some benefit to keeping it active in the off-chance that someone needs my email address or phone number.

Suffice it to say that if you and I have known each other for years and are still in touch, that's probably not going to change any time soon. But if I meet you tomorrow, I'm all about substance at this point. So let's get back to reality. :)

Why I Love Californication

Sunday, March 07, 2010

I've decided to express my appreciation for the TV show "Californication" by pontificating on my favorite Hank Moody quotes from Season 1. (As my good friend Fredie will attest to, Season 1 is the best. I may or may not follow up with quotes from Seasons 2 and 3.) Here are my favorite Moodyisms in no particular order:

"I'm disgusted with my life and myself, but I'm not unhappy about that." In my opinion, this one's about finding a positive within a negative. We all have things about ourselves we aren't proud of, and the right to handle them however we need to. Hank embraces his disgust because it's a sign that he wants something better and hasn't lost himself completely.

"It was the best of times... if only someone had told me. Mistakes were made. Hearts were broken; harsh lessons learned... I don't know how I got here, but here I am." The person I am at this moment is the cumulative result of everything that has happened leading up to it. The import of a moment often can't be recognized until after the fact. Highs and lows become clearer when there's more to compare them with. I don't know if I would go back and do anything differently, but I do wish I could've experienced the highs with the knowledge of just how special they were. Instead, all I can do is hope to reach them again with the knowledge in hand.

"Just because something is bleak doesn't necessarily make it true... Who says we have to be realistic?... No. We don't have to be. Realistic, that is. Not when it comes to love." More than once, I've found myself perplexed by what love can do to the way I think and act. Most of the decisions I make are carefully thought out. I try to be as pragmatic as I can be. And yet love, that untameable force, can blow over the carefully constructed view of reality I build for myself like it's made of straw. Love isn't born of pragmatism and is immune to rationality. For better or for worse, it simply is.

"I think we made the mistake of getting it right the first time... and that put an insane amount of pressure on us to keep it going. And we buckled."

1/13/10

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Flying is painful. Even at its finest, it’s a dreadful experience. You can take every step humanly possible to make it better – print out your boarding pass at home, check zero bags and have all of your fluids packed up in a Ziploc bag – and it’s STILL painful. This is partly due to the airlines, but is also largely due to the ignorance and malfeasance of travelers. As a rule, I expect common courtesy to take a hit any time a large number of people get packed into tight spaces – especially people in a rush. Nonetheless, an article on CNN.com about flying etiquette struck a chord with me and I thought I’d pay it forward. (http://www.cnn.com/2010/TRAVEL/01/12/carry.on.tips/index.html)

I started noticing problems about a year ago when the whole “pay to check bags” practice became more or less standard across the industry. The airlines assumed that people would just pay to check bags. In reality, people just avoided it at all costs and brought more with them onto flights. All of I sudden, I had to worry about finding any overhead space if I wasn’t in the first half of travelers to board a plane. Anyone who has been among the last 20 travelers to board a plane in the last year knows this pain.

So, here are a few suggestions from the CNN article that I agreed with most:

1. Don’t put bags into overhead storage lengthwise. More bags will fit if they are all positioned perpendicular to the aisle; if your bag is too large to fit that way, it should be checked.

2. Put your larger item up top, your smaller item at your feet.

3. Wait until everyone’s bags are stowed, then lay your coat on top. Bags take priority.

These rules should always be in effect, but particularly so now that there’s even more baggage coming into the main cabin with passengers. (I personally think that if the airlines simply charged less for checking bags, like $10, a lot more people would do it and it would help alleviate some of this mess.)

1/6/2010

Wednesday, January 06, 2010

In line with my New Year’s Resolution to Improve, I’ve been doing some thinking about just how pivotal the role of reading was in the improvements I saw in my life last year. The old saying “Knowledge is power” proved to be very true for me in 2009. The more I read and learned about the pillars of (what I believe to be) a balanced, healthy life, the better I felt. And, among all of the hectic disorganization in my life at the end of 2009, there was a serious lack of reading going on. So as part of my Resolution, I am going to catch the reading bug and dig into knowledge and information with a vengeance. Additionally, I am going to share what I’m learning and thinking about with you as it comes.

Today I came across an article from Men’s Health highlighting 100 Fitness Tips. (You can find the full list here: http://www.menshealth.com/mhlists/100-best-fitness-tips/) I’ve picked my 10 favorites and included them here in no particular order, along with some reasons why they are favorites. NOTE: I’ve never received professional fitness training. I am just enthusiastic about it and try to learn as much as I can. So take what I say with a grain of salt and know that better info is likely available out there.

1. Don’t work your ab muscles every day. Your abs are like any other muscle. Train them only 2-3 days per week. I’ve read in multiple sources that exercise is essentially damaging muscles with the intent of getting them to re-build and/or grow. For that reason, a day of rest is important for giving muscles the opportunity to repair. In addition, I’ve read that exercising 3 days a week is enough to keep your resting metabolism in a state of near-permanent elevation – meaning more burn, 24/7.

2. Drink a pint, get ripped. In a new study, beginners who trained to failure then drank a supplement immediately afterward gained 5+ pounds of muscle in 8 weeks. In 2008 I focused on more exercise, but not on integrating nutrition into it. Big mistake. Muscles need materials to re-build with – protein, carbs and fat alike. In 2009 I got into the habit of downing a protein shake and a meal after working out and it improved my results noticeably; downing a protein shake before working out helped even more. Now I’ve reached a point where if I don’t have something available to eat before working out, I don’t work out.

3. Lose your weak spot. If you don’t like an exercise, start doing it. You’re probably avoiding it because you’re weak at it. Case in point for me: Pull-ups/chin-ups. I work out at home, primarily with dumbbells. This makes really challenging my back muscles difficult. Several months back I picked up one of those pull-up bars that affixes to a door frame, and if there’s one exercise that makes me feel like a weakling, it’s pull-ups. If I can successfully do 10 of those things by year’s end, I’ll consider it success.

4. Keep your stats, see amazing results. Every 4 weeks, measure a variable – waist size, body fat, bench press – that equates to your end goal. In the spring of 2008, I realized my weight had dropped from 200 lbs to 175 lbs in a matter of roughly two years. I wasn’t happy, and made gaining weight my measure of success. I ate more, then focused on eating more protein, and began lifting weights regularly. Now my weight is back up to 200 lbs and I want to shift my focus to body fat. If I can arrive at a combined 200 lb weight with 10% body fat by year’s end… well I may just stop wearing clothes around the apartment because of how good I will feel.

5. Pick up your pace. Increase the speed of your strides – not their length – to get faster. Your foot should always land under your body, rather than out in front of it. I first got a sense of this running a treadmill sometime a few months back. I thought, “Here is this fixed, small area for running, yet I can increase or decrease speeds.” The next time I ran on the street I imagined having only a few feet to work with, and it made it much easier to build up speed without getting winded. If only I’d known this as a kid playing little-league baseball.

6. Eat meat and grow. Eat meat – 4 to 8 oz. every day – to grow more muscle. See #2 or #4. Eating is a big part of being fit. One caveat here: it doesn’t necessarily have to be meat because there are other good sources of protein, but it’s hard to pack the protein punch that meat does per serving size. If red meat isn’t your think, there’s also chicken, turkey, fish and pork. Mix it up and enjoy.

7. Manage your middle. Do your ab exercises first. Your abs and core get worked during other exercises focused on the legs and arms by helping to keep you balanced and stable. If you wait until afterward to do abs-focused exercises, they may already be tired and make the exercises less effective. I’d rather target them first and maximize the workload and then move on to exercises where they are playing more of a supportive and less-stressful role.

8. Exercise one arm at a time. Do a set of shoulder presses with your left arm, then do a set with your right. “You’ll get higher quality sets than if you work both arms at the same time.” ‘Plateau’ is a word I’ve heard a lot relative to fitness in the last year. Namely – your muscles want to become efficient and streamlined, and do less work. So if you do the same exercises in the same order day in and day out, they will lose their effectiveness with time. Better to keep your muscles surprised by changing things up every few weeks – mix up the amount of weight you use; the number of reps you do; the angles at which you hold the weights; the grips you use; or whether you use one arm, both arms, or alternate.

9. Squat for a six-pack. Do squats and deadlifts… to build your abs. These two main exercises force your abs to do a significant amount of work to maintain your posture. I read somewhere that in order to have a six-pack, an average male needs less than 12% body fat. And in order to burn fat, it’s really helpful to focus on the large muscle groups – legs and back – that require the most energy to work. It takes 250,000 crunches to burn 1 pound of fat, so it’s probably best to perform a mixture of ab exercises and others like squats, lunges and pull-ups (ugh…).

10. Build real strength. Don’t use machine weights exclusively… My friend Tony is one of the fittest guys I’ve ever known and he would probably take this a bit further and recommend not using machine weights at all. Machines teach your body to be strong for very constrained movements – front, back, left, right. By using weights like dumbbells, kettlebells, medicine balls or even simply your own body weight, you can challenge your muscles with movements that actually reflect the movements you make in daily life – whether it’s playing sports, sprinting to catch a bus or loading groceries.

Happy 2010!

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Good morning, Interweb. I hope 2010 is off to a great start for you! I had a few minutes before boarding my 7th flight in the last month and so decided to write a quick entry.

As with every New Year, 2010 offers a figurative "new start" for all of us. The realist notes that the only real change a new year brings is a different way of writing the date. The optimist sees that simple change as a symbol for fresh opportunities to grow; a catalyst that drives us to act upon the areas for improvement we spend the rest of the year thinking about. The word "resolution" comes from the word "resolute," which means "firm or determined; unwavering." So if you make a resolution or two this year, be unwavering in your dedication to accomplishing what it is you set out to do. My resolution this year is simply to Improve; to finish the year a better, healthier, happier person than when I started it. The end of 2009 brought an onslought of exciting changes to my life, but with those changes came unpredictability and less stability than I'd grown accustomed to. Much of what I've learned about exercise, nutrition, finance and music has lain dormant these last few weeks, and as part of my goal to Improve I am re-dedicating myself toward living an organized and well-balanced life. Now more than ever before, I see the future I want to arrive at sooner rather than later, and I am energized and motivated to take the steps needed to make it happen.

That's it for now. Time to get going! Be well. And if you're in LA these next couple of days, give me a shout!

Same Blog, New Time Zone!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Hello all! This is my first post from my new home in Seattle, Washington. I have been in my new apartment and job for two weeks now, and I thought it might be time for an update.

Unfortunately, the #1 thing to report is that I've come down with a pretty nasty bug that's got me laid up. Just so you know, if you wake up one day with a really sore throat, it's probably best not to begin an 8-day, 5,000-mile road trip with several of those days involving 12+ hours of being in a car, immediately followed by two cross-country flights within the next 5 days, immediately followed by a day full of moving your things into an apartment and consuming a fair amount of alcoholic beverages, immediately followed by the stress of a first week on a new job. (Now that I read what I just wrote, I'm not so surprised my body is protesting.) I'm doing my best to take it easy and get lots of sleep, but it's tough to stay consistent when I'm trying to get situated and what not. Plus I now have to fly to LA and back for work this week, immediately followed by flying to Phoenix for Christmas... yeah. Trying to get better. Maybe by the Spring?

The #2 thing to report is that I am enjoying my new job. It's keeping me very engaged and busy, with lots of days where I come home with a tired brain. I don't want to go into too much detail, but suffice it to say that I hit the ground running and things have gone well so far.

The #3 thing to report is that after two weeks in my apartment, it's still largely empty! I am waiting on a dining set that will probably arrive on Tuesday while I am in LA. Sometime in January I will be on the hunt for an olive green couch (a very fitting color here in the Pacific Northwest!) And lastly I shall someday find a stand for my TV. Once all of this is done, I will feel like I'm more or less done and can start taking some pictures or video of the place to post!

So, in summary, I am more less happy after my first two weeks here. I am looking forward to being done with moving in and getting settled so that I can begin to explore this new city and learn about the local places that will eventually make it feel like home to me. (Note: If you have any suggestions for spots for live music or other arts, let me know!)

That's all for now. I hope you have a wonderful holiday season. See you in '10!

Live from New York... it's Thursday Night!

Thursday, November 05, 2009

Hey peeps. It's 11:30 PM here in NYC, and as has been the case the last couple of weeks, falling asleep is difficult. It's not unusual in the sense that I've got a lot going on and a lot of thoughts fighting for attention in my mind... but compared with an average night, it is unusual. And so I've brewed some tea and decided to write a bit.


First, an update on all the official stuff... I've got movers booked. They'll be carting away my things on the 19th and arriving at my as-of-yet-unidentified apartment on December 5th. I'm heading out to Seattle next weekend (14th-16th) to apartment shop in the Capitol Hill neighborhood downtown, and have made several appointments with buildings I'd like to check out. (I'm rooting for the brand spanking new one with a rooftop lounge complete with pool table.) I get back to NYC on the 17th, and have the 18th to finish up packing things for the movers on the 19th... and then it's time to start bidding a fond farewell to the people and places that have made this city into one I'm glad to have lived in. I'll head up to CT to meet up with my friend Justin the night of the 22nd, and on the 23rd we begin our big adventure westward. Our first stop will be picking up the few items left in my apartment in Brooklyn, and then we're off to Tucson for Thanksgiving. Then it's up the west coast until we arrive in Seattle on the 30th. The next day, December 1, I begin the new job...!

Now, on to the less official thoughts that have been developing in my head over the last couple weeks... More than anything else, I've been pondering over how my perceptions of NYC have changed with time - namely that even a city as big as this one can begin to feel small after a while. I remember the first time I visited here in 2005 - how nervous I was about getting to Astoria. I practically clung to another passenger on the train in from Connecticut, frantically asking questions about where to go and how to transfer between subway lines. I remember riding the subway, wondering if people could tell just by looking at me that I wasn't from here... I also remember my first time coming to Brooklyn. It felt so far; like I was on the subway for hours. Nowadays that first part of Brooklyn I experienced, so far away, is only the halfway point between my office and apartment. Perhaps familiarity makes a place feel smaller - like there are fewer surprises left up its sleeves and fewer reasons to keep my eyes open. Perhaps I only saw the tip of the iceberg before making the decision to leave. Who knows?

Now is probably a good time to admit that I'm secretly and guiltily excited about getting a car sometime in the near future... being able to get around without one is awesome and what not, but only as long as one doesn't want to go anywhere that isn't the city. This is no good for me, because getting out of here every now and then has been a crucial part of maintaining my questionable sanity.

I believe that NYC is an example of how certain manners and polite behaviors are forgotten when you simply have too many people in not enough space. It encompasses most of the senses - sights, sounds, smells, touches... normal rules just don't apply here, and I've never bought into that. Maybe a couple of years of enforcing Quiet Hours in a dorm left an imprint on me, but I still cannot fathom how easily people invade one another's space with loud music... dogs barking... people screaming... The term 'personal space' need not apply here. I guess if you have no choice but to stick your nose into someone else's back, hair or armpit enough times on the subway, eventually you say, "To hell with it," and stop trying to be nice. People come and go as they please, and it is your responsibility to work around them - no matter how egregious their actions. Defensive driving... defensive walking. This, I shall not miss.

I've learned enough about this city that I will look forward to visiting, seeing the people I want to see, and then leaving for a home where I don't feel so hardened and bombarded.

And on that note, I think I'm getting tired enough to try zonking out...

When I Was 25... It Was a Very Good Year

Sunday, October 25, 2009

10/25/2009


Well folks, it's official: My days as a New Yorker are numbered. In roughly four weeks, I will be starting a new adventure in the Pacific Northwest - Seattle, to be specific. I've been offered a job there with an up-and-coming market research firm, and am excited to say that I am accepting the offer.

Knowing now that the current chapter of my life is coming to a close, I can't help but reflect on everything that has happened here since arriving in May 2006. In many ways, I barely recognize the young man who landed here with two large boxes of belongings, a set of golf clubs and romanticized expectations. At one point, I almost lost all touch with that person. However, thanks to a few very special people, I leave here not a different person altogether, but simply a changed one. And changed, I hope, for the better.

I will remember New York has a harshly paternalistic city: One that threw me into the deep end and forced me to swim, or drown. We've butted heads a few times, but after all is said and done I will always be thankful for the experiences I have had here. They will undoubtedly have an impact on how I perceive my surroundings for the rest of my life. After all, there's no other basis for comparison quite like New York City... or is it simply incomparable?

This will be the city that taught me the importance of financial planning (which is a bit ironic, considering the almighty Wall Street's recent failures)... of making nutritious eating and exercise an irremovable priority... of making time to try new things and participate in the old ones I should never allow to fade out of my life. And when it comes to love - and those of you who know much about me know that my heart tends to make its position on matters heard loud and clearly - New York will be the setting I remember behind both the great heights and low depths love can embody. In more than a few ways, I will likely not encounter such an onslaught of life lessons as I have had to face these last few formative years. And so New York, despite your faults, I can only thank you and leave with a smile on my face.

I have purchased a new moleskine to carry around with me during these next few weeks, as I expect a rush of sentiments, memories and thoughts to fill my head as I prepare for my departure. Sooner rather than later, I hope to share some of them here. Until then, be well.

8/14/2009

Friday, August 14, 2009

Happy Friday everyone! Here's hoping that you do something fun or relaxing this weekend. I will be spending mine having a catch, playing Tiger Woods at Fredie and Mel's, kayaking, golfing and playing the bass. B-e-a-utiful. =)
While browsing NYtimes.com today, I came across an article titled "The Expense of Eating with Celiac Disease" and have some thoughts on it that I want to share. (Interested readers can find the article here: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/15/health/15patient.html?ref=health)
First, allow me to clarify that I do not have Celiac, and am fully gluten tolerant. I just have an above-average awareness and understanding of gluten-free (GF) and empathize with people who do have Celiac or are gluten intolerant. So when I see something in the news, I read it.
The premise of the article is that when people go GF, their grocery bills increase significantly as a result stocking up on "gluten-free versions of breads, crackers and pizza made from grains other than wheat" that "can be expensive and might not even be that healthy, since most GF products are not fortified with vitamins."
Now, some GF products out there are more expensive than their non-GF counterparts. When you're talking about a $1.29-cent loaf of "bread," everything is going to be more expensive. But hey - now if you're on the price is right and they ask you how much the loaf of bread costs, you know the answer.
I'd like to argue that for most people, the grocery bill increases aren't a result of going GF or even supply-side market conditions. Consider this: The only part of the food pyramid that deals with gluten is "Grains." Meat, nuts, beans, dairy, fruits, vegetables... all GF. Not to mention there are also grains that are GF (any kind of rice, quinoa, oats). Personal note: If you actually eat the proper amounts of meat, nuts, beans, dairy, fruits and vegatables each day, 6-11 servings of grains seems a bit much! (And don't tell me you won't be getting enough fiber - that's what the beans and fruits and veggies are for.)

So, let's say someone has to go GF, and they've already been shopping according to the Food Pyramid. Why should there bills increase much, if at all? The fact is, they probably won't. So that means going GF isn't the real reason people see increases. I propose that true reason for the increases is that people were not buying the natural foods recommended in the food pyramid. I know when I went from eating processed this and frozen that to eating 3 balanced meals comprised of actual food each day, my bills increased.

The NY Times article is awesome for bring attention to the cause of GF - particularly its mention of how Celiac is ignored by the drug industry because there's no way to treat it with a drug (and therefore, no profits to be made). But in my opinion, the article might as well have been called, "The Expense of Eating Real Food - Gluten Free or Not."

That is all. =)

8-2-2009

Sunday, August 02, 2009

[a la Bill Lumbergh of Office Space] "Whaaat's happening? Yeah.... if you could just... write in this blog more than once every 4 months, that would be greeeeeeat. Mmkay? Thaaanks."


It's been a long time coming, but here is a new entry! I could say that part of the reason why I haven't written is that life has been pretty routine, or consistent, during the last few months. However, that's not entirely true. Another part of the reason is that once I fell behind, it felt like the next entry would have to make up for lost time and be even longer... and then more time passed... and the cycle perpetuated itself. Anyway... highlights of the last 4 months:

  • May: The things that I remember most about May were the events behind two trips I made to Arizona. The first was my sister's graduation from NAU; and the second was my best friend's wedding.
  • June: Did anything happen in June? For some reason I'm drawing a blank on this one, so I will say the highlight of the month was a trip out to CT to play golf with Justin and Kim.
  • July: July was a great month. I visited friends in DC for Independence Day, and was lucky enough to attend the concert at the Capitol featuring Aretha Franklin. I turned 25, celebrating three times with friends in Arizona, New York, and Connecticut. And I reconnected with one of my favorite people in the world.

So now it's August, and I have just started reading a book called Predictably Irrational (Dan Ariely) that delves into the "Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions," or behavioral economics. The first chapter of the book was enjoyable and thought provoking, and largely inspired me to write this new post.

Consider the following statement (the last sentence of Chapter 1: The Truth About Relativity). The more we have, the more we want. And the only cure is to break the cycle of relativity. The premise is basically that in a perfect world, we would be able to make decisions based solely on who we are and what we need - like living in a vacuum. However, in the real world, we are constantly comparing with other people, products or services - consciously or not - and this skews our goals and desires.

It's such a strong impulse that marketers can use it to their advantage by introducing options of different prices and feature sets designed to steer you toward the one they want to sell. How often do you go to the store for something basic only to walk out with an upgraded (and slightly more expensive) version?

For a while now, I've been pretty aware of the possibility for people to become the possessions of their possessions. It really started when I heard someone talk about not wanting to amass lots of material things because they would ultimately become something of an anchor. As I furnished my apartment in June of last year, with each major purchase (i.e. bed, TV) lurked a thought in the back of mind: If you ever move somewhere, these things are now your responsibility.

Anyway, from now on I will be attempt to be more aware of when I'm comparing or skewing my decision-making process away from what it would be in a vacuum. I consider myself to be a pragmatic person, but it really seems like this is a pervasive element in daily life that can always be improved upon.

That's all for now! Hope you are well.

 
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